March 24, 2017

June 27, 2012

Something’s Queer About This Oreo

By now you’ve probably seen Kraft’s rainbow-colored Oreo ad, run as part of the company’s support for “Pride Month,” by which is meant Gay Pride, by which is meant parades at which all manner of sexual depravity is on public display, with Episcopal priests and bishops oddly over-represented.

When I first saw the ad, I thought, “You know, I might actually pay money for that, and enjoy it immensely, despite knowing what it was meant to represent.” Such is my mercenary spirit when it comes to Oreos.

But alas, in attempting to deflect public criticism, Kraft was quick to point out that the cookie was not actually going to be produced or marketed, and that the ad was part of a “series of daily ads reflecting current events in a fun way using images of Oreo cookies and milk.”

Feeling not so much betrayed by a corporation’s crass attempt to pander to the gay community, as I was betrayed by having a super-stuffed multi-color Oreo dangled in front of me and then told “psych!”, I looked at the Oreo again through slitted, cynical eyes. Stripped of my illusions, I saw the cookie for what it really is.

A fake.

A cheap, Photoshopped fake.

I’d say look carefully at the image below, but in fact you can just glance at it for a split-second, because the tell-tale signs are crudely, amateurishly obvious. I’ve circled two vertically repeating patterns, but a third one is also obvious in between them:

A Potemkin cookie for a Potemkin movement.

Feel free to apply your own metaphors, similes, and parallels.

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I don’t see it but on the other hand, I’m not wearing my glasses and I’m working off a netbook.  Everything looks like an ant farm from my vantage point. 

As you know, I did a bit of photoshopping and amatuer photography back in the heydey of my now-defunct blog.  If I were to do this picture, I’d build the Oreo by dying several layers of filling with left over Easter egg dye, then build it back up.  All told, it would take less than an evening to complete.

[1] Posted by Elder Oyster on 6-27-2012 at 10:48 AM · [top]

Gay Oreos are either all cream or all crunch. The former is arguably a cookie at all, and the latter is certainly not an “Oreo”.  Silly kids, separate is never equal.

[2] Posted by Marty the Baptist on 6-27-2012 at 11:13 AM · [top]

Never liked oreo cookies that much anyway.  Does this mean that there are lot of homosexual light skinned African Americans out there? Just wondering…..

[3] Posted by SC blu cat lady on 6-27-2012 at 11:31 AM · [top]

I see it now.  I was looking horizontally.  But a photoshop job would work on the layers vertically. 

RE:  “Feel free to apply your own metaphors, similes, and parallels. “

I find it odd that a movement so infatuated with the “pride” of a group of people, would pick a food as their emblem.  If I’m proud of myself, does that mean that I have to be chewed properly, swallowed, bathed in digestive acids, and then um, moved back out into the real world?

[4] Posted by Elder Oyster on 6-27-2012 at 11:31 AM · [top]

Elder Oyster,

It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person.

[5] Posted by Undergroundpewster on 6-27-2012 at 01:37 PM · [top]

Ew, UGP. That is gross.  raspberry

[6] Posted by Elder Oyster on 6-27-2012 at 01:51 PM · [top]

Oh my…Underground…might want to take another look at what you said, given the subject matter…  big surprise

[7] Posted by B. Hunter on 6-27-2012 at 01:59 PM · [top]

I think I ought to go ahead and post this, though if the bloggers delete this comment and/or ban me forever, I’ll certainly understand.

WARNING - Do not read on, if you have a weak stomach, are easily disgusted, etc. In fact, you might toss your (Oreo) cookies.

BUT, in commenting about Oreos, Pride, and defilement, one might first do an Internet search (in the privacy of one’s home) on the term “oreo hazing.” That incident received national attention.

There’s also the infamous Blue Mountain State initiation ritual that used Oreos, along with various other uses.

Given that the manufacturers of Oreo cookies would have to know FULL WELL that their product has these varied uses…the rainbow campaign is disgusting.

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

[8] Posted by Ralph on 6-27-2012 at 02:42 PM · [top]

Ralph, EEWWWWW! Did a google search on oreo hazing-  ummmm .....  hazing rituals involving bodily fluid covered oreos are indeed disgusting,gross and vile.

[9] Posted by SC blu cat lady on 6-27-2012 at 03:13 PM · [top]

Why are the colors separated?  Why is red better than purple?  Purple is a good color.  It does not deserve to be on the bottom.  Why weren’t the colors fully integrated?  They could have done that IF THEY WANTED TO.

These bigots.

[10] Posted by Jackie on 6-27-2012 at 03:28 PM · [top]

#8 For some reason, I don’t recall that story being covered by the mainstream media.

I wonder why.

[11] Posted by SpongJohn SquarePantheist on 6-27-2012 at 03:49 PM · [top]

#8, 11:

(w/ tone of liturgical chant)

Thanks be to God!

[12] Posted by maineiac on 6-27-2012 at 04:14 PM · [top]

I say this is blatant discrimination against Fig Newtons!

[13] Posted by sophy0075 on 6-27-2012 at 04:37 PM · [top]

The big conundrum here is whether mayor Michael Bloomberg will ban these gay Oreos for being too large; i.e., the cookie equivalent of a big gulp.  What’s more important, gay rights, or eschewing multiple-stuff cookies (they’re obviously bigger than the double stuff Oreos, since they’re stuffed with multi-colored gooey goodness)

As Tom Lehrer sang in his song “Smut,” “when correctly viewed, everything is lewd.”

[14] Posted by Daniel on 6-27-2012 at 06:35 PM · [top]

I know I don’t want to taste the rainbow….

Blue Cat Man

[15] Posted by SC blu cat lady on 6-27-2012 at 07:14 PM · [top]

It’s death by food coloring. Does anyone else see why this design is missing another layer of filling at the bottom to be physically correct, and what color it should be?

[16] Posted by A. S. Haley on 6-27-2012 at 07:26 PM · [top]

ASH (#16) -
Color white, which is the combination of those 6 - or are you thinking of something else?

[17] Posted by maineiac on 6-27-2012 at 07:44 PM · [top]

#14, you beat me to it!!!!!  obviously there must be entirely too much trans fat and high fructose corn syrup for the good mayor’s delicate sensibilties.

[18] Posted by elanor on 6-27-2012 at 07:50 PM · [top]

(#17) maineiac - no, it’s a color that is needed to complete the sequence from top to bottom.

[19] Posted by A. S. Haley on 6-27-2012 at 11:38 PM · [top]

@16 is Pink the color you are thinking about

[20] Posted by Basset Horn on 6-28-2012 at 06:19 AM · [top]

Indigo and violet should be at the bottom, shouldn’t they?

[21] Posted by Doug A on 6-28-2012 at 08:51 AM · [top]

No answer so far is the one I’m thinking of—look at how the primary colors are distributed.

[22] Posted by A. S. Haley on 6-28-2012 at 09:06 AM · [top]

Mr. Haley,

Not sure what you’re thinking. The problem is really that there isn’t a true blue. Rainbows sometimes are described as ending in blue/violet and sometimes blue/indigo/violet. The bluish layer is ambiguous. Other progressions I see are:

1) The primary color triad - red, yellow, blue (bluish?) - top to bottom on the odd filling layers.
2) The secondary color triad - orange, green, purple - top to bottom on the even filling layers.
3) The usual depiction of the electromagnetic spectrum - red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet - as shown in many texts.
4) Some depictions of the spectrum extend beyond the visible to x-ray and gamma and denote them as black.
5) The colors used to label resistors run black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, grey, white.

The problem is that the blue in the picture isn’t a pure blue - it’s a baby/robin’s-egg bluish.

I could answer “true blue” (a missing pure color), black (representing “x-ray” - or given the topic “x-rayted”), or grey/white.

I’ll probably slap my forehead when I hear what you were thinking of, but I’m having trouble getting out of my physics-trained mental models.


[23] Posted by Doug Stein on 6-28-2012 at 05:07 PM · [top]

Doug Stein (and others) - sorry to leave you in suspense all day; I was busy with the Supreme Court posts.

Here’s my observation: in each instance, from top to bottom, the color in between the primary colors represents the color obtained when you blend those two primary colors. Thus, going from top down:

Red blended with yellow equals orange.

Yellow blended with blue (taking it as representative of a true blue) equals green.

And then we have purple. It is between the blue and—- (the missing layer)—so now do you see what should it be?

[24] Posted by A. S. Haley on 6-28-2012 at 09:36 PM · [top]

So Doug (#23), you had it right when you identified the colors of the electromagnetic spectrum (which is why I included the word “physical” in my original clue). In the spectrum, each primary color goes through the intermediate blend before passing to the next primary hue. Only I saw it as a closed loop, and you saw it as a band.

[25] Posted by A. S. Haley on 6-28-2012 at 09:40 PM · [top]

Well, red is the primary color you mix with blue to get purple - so another layer of red would complete the sequence if your definition of “next to” doesn’t include periodic boundary conditions. When I ran through the sequence, I immediately tracked back up to the top of the stack to red complete it. Too much exposure to crystal lattices and modular arithmetic, I’m afraid! The cookie filling is a complete lattice cell that can be repeated as many times in one dimension. If you added another layer of red, you complete the single sequence, but can’t repeat it without double-reds at the boundary.

Whatever, it’s still overcolored saturated animal fat + sugar. (Not sure Hydrox - which uses hydrogenated vegetable oil instead - would be much of an improvement!)

[26] Posted by Doug Stein on 6-29-2012 at 09:41 PM · [top]

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