Shameless plug (for both a blog and a mission field)

RE: “On top of that, special needs people will not be able to understand (or at least convey understanding of) propositional religion.”

As long as they are capable of understanding and affirming the 39 Articles or, in the case of the more rigid, the Westminster Confession, that is acceptable.

Those who are liberal and un-reformed may simply make do with asking for affirmation of the Nicene Creed.

Only understanding and affirming the above simple propositions are necessary for being saved and found to be in Christ.

Open-mindedly,

Sarah

LOL what’s funny, Sarah, is that one of the parts of the liturgy with which our son connects is the Nicene Creed.  Something in the rhythm of how we recite it works for him, and he sometimes says it along with the congregation.

So I guess we are liberal and un-reformed, which is going to torque my wife off to no end.

Why is Sarah writing truisms?  Is she being flip or has she had a genuine conversion?  Or is this an example of irony for norma people who aren’t into litrachur?

As I stood in line with the other parents I heard the man infront of me complaining about ‘That tall boy in there needs to go, he doesn’t belong here… I don’t care what his issues are, but I don’t want my daughter being dumbed down by him. He could hurt any of our 2 year olds’.”

The only charitable, Christian (not to mention printable) response I can think of to such a remark is “Then why don’t you go to prayer with Jesus for a solution, sir?”  No doubt the Master will speak His mind and will to the man’s heart.  Whether he listens and softens and obeys is another matter, of course.

I’m really glad I read this post.

(1). It helps to put some of the issues my wife and I have had with our eldest daughter (age 6) in church in their proper perspective.

(2). Even though my daughter is hardly ‘special needs,’ my wife and I have gone through hell with her…she has been much better lately, pays better attention to the service, sits more still, etc. But when we were searching for a church, it was hard for us. Many Anglican churches in the South (TEC or ACNA) simply don’t have nurseries, or the nurseries only operate during a certain time during the service…so basically, what I am saying, we were trying to keep a infant/toddler happy on the one hand, and then working with a borderlined-ADD child on the other…

...And my wife and I were tired after the service and just wanted church to be over, and some days we just didn’t go…we were losing the will.

Thankfully, we found our current church now…it’s about a 20 minute drive, but they have great programs for kids, a nursery for our youngest, and my wife and I can focus on hearing the sermon and working with our eldest girl.

But at the time…and some of my Christian brothers and sisters (and God bless them because they meant well), when I tried to reach out for advice, many of them were no help and some of them (unintentionally and meaning-well) insulted us. It was all ‘our fault’ one way or another: at least 4 different ways, I heard this: “You are trying to concentrate on your spiritual fix rather than teaching your children to worship,” etc.

Finally, one of these other parents put a book in my hand (published by IV Press), and I read in the introduction almost verbatim what they had said to us. So then I understood what was going on there.

Anyway, this experience has taught us a lot, and once our youngest (more focused than her sister) is ready for ‘big church,’ we very much want to help other parents and families with special needs. I think we better understand where they are coming from.

#5 - ait -  you should look into sleep apnea as a possible ADD source. 

The place where I had my sleep apnea overnight test does 3 people each night (3 rooms, not 3 people cycling through 1 room), one of whom is a child.  Every single night they test children for sleep apnea, and many of them have it.  When they haven’t slept well, they get frazzled.  The first time I had a sleep test, in Baltimore, was bizarre - they said I got only Stage I and Stage II sleep, no III, iV, or REM, hence no dreams or deep rest, but according to them, I did NOT have apnea.  Over a yr later, we’d moved and I went to an excellent place up here, and they were glad the diagnosis was for 2 things, becs it was clear w/in 1/2 hr that I had apnea.  I don’t remember what the 2nd part was, but I got to sleep through the night.  I now use a cpap and am a functional human being again, not a zombie.

Children are often lucky: removal of tonsils or adenoids can open up the airway at night.  I also know an adult who had both of them and something else removed and sleeps again. 

It’s worth looking into.

As a generally crabby old bachelor, I can tell you parents that you aren’t judged nearly as harshly as you might think. The problem is that you hear that one jerk spouting off, and not the others who either raised kids themselves, or recognize that kids belong to Jesus as much as the rest of us, and (pardon the cliche) they are the future of the Church.  The only time I get frustrated is when I see kids obviously looking for attention and the parents ignore them. But even then, I should be careful, since I don’t know the whole story.

#5 All-Is-True thanks for that helpful testimony.  Glad to read about how God used your difficulties to open your hearts to others who are struggling.  God bless your family.

#7 You have a valid point.  There is always some discernment involved - when is behavior part of a diagnosed condition and when is it just parental inattentiveness?  Generally the answer will be in the parents’ faces.  Stress and strain indicates a child with a condition - blissful ignorance is, well, blissful ignorance.

Some of the same obtains with adults.  What to do about hand held devices in church? Some are looking at online Bibles as they follow the sermon (I have a college prof in my congregation who is usually looking at the Greek text); some are playing games and ignoring the Word.

I find that most churches have fights over the principal service.  It can’t bear every possible need.  You can’t have contemplative silence and happy baby noise.  Yet many congregations will have folks demanding both, and insisting that it be at 10 a.m.  This can become deadly in small churches, which might not have nursery or other options present in larger congregations.

Rhythms of Grace is, I think, a wise direction, at least as far as special needs.  Sometimes you have to specialize.

No service can accommodate every need and taste.  We are seeing our 8 a.m. service grow a bit, as some of our 10 a.m. folks realize that we won’t be able to make the later service quiet.  With more young families (and babies) showing up, and a mix of contemporary and traditional music, the 10 o’clock just doesn’t lend itself to “quiet time,” although it certainly has quietly reverent spaces within it.  But by not trying to make it all things to all people, it has moved some folks to the early service and enhanced its identity and spiritual quality - 8 o’clock is a quieter time of prayer and reflection.